Oppresion

By far, I would personally say that tonite would be the most terrifying nite. Silly as it may appear to you, but I am horrified by the memory. Flashback just chill me to the bones, to witness a tragedy.What happened was, my eldest son Daniel locked n jammed the doors n I could not get thru. I tried the keys but I could not unlock the door, somehow Daniel managed to jammed the door. I waited for almost an hour because my husband asked me to wait.  My husband do not want me to rush things like climbing myself out the corridor using the window to get to them. The window is unlock, which allows me to get in but demn, I was on the 4th floor I kept thinking if I am to slipped,fell down n die.He insisted that I do not attempt any rash decision that he might regret later. But I am not going to tell you about that, all turned out well. My husband got home, unlock the door n saved the kids. But what I am going to share to you is about why am i am at the state of "Oppression".

I am always been there for my bestie, been there in the terms of physically  n mentally support from top to bottom. It's always me that willing to give in rather than takes in.

I dont fucking get it, y people nags about their love life, telling me stories which i would bear with them  by resorting the best solution. If I about to tell my sorrow to friend for instance  like "being a mother is the hardest job in the world n what u have to willing yourself to give up juz to raise your kids" they would say, "biasala, they juz kids...." can I relate this back to you then? what if I'm about to tell to a friend who in the position of retrenchment or fired from a job, my respond was, "biasala, that's the working life" or someone who suffer a heartbreak or being dumped by bf/gf n i quote "biasala, love is like a investment that u have to bear your own risks n loss" WOULD IT SOUND SO FUCKING SELFISH N DAMN RUDE? 

I don't fucking get it why the non-married peers who give the statement "biasalah to us mother" like as if they wants "us" to shut the fuck up.. ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS THEM N THEIR LIFE!..My friend who is actually married quote a speech something sound more like this " biasalah, at least u have children to accompany you rather than juz us two like me, boring with no activity"  I am willing to listen to them all the way, how they bore themselves out during the weekend watching tv with their spouses, late meal n hang out together the entire day n yet they still have plenty to look forward into. I sympathized with sincerity but then theyl start to compare with "us" moms n say, you should be grateful! As if that unmarried couple who ask "the women that being brutally abuse by their husband says, hey! u should be grateful at least ur married, not like me" FUCK RITE?

I can't tolerate with the idea that we suppose to listen n go all the way with their problem but when it comes to "us" moms we going to have to suck it up! Mums have bad days too, n need someone to listen to her WITHOUT ppl barging in n condemning. Their respond would be something like "you should feel blessed with what is given". As if "us" moms wine n complaint tremendously, it merely just expression.If you cant tell the different n i guess i feel sorry for you. It is no harm in expressing, if it would result to eased some of the burden rather then you keep em bottled up. The real harm would be not willing to take up the challenge n seek for adoption. THEN, THAT WOULD CONSIDER AS A CRIME. Sometimes, i feel that most of ppl do not properly use the terms "biasalah" at the right time n the rite place.

Most mothers are bound to make mistakes n failure. We do not succeed at first but we learn to succeed at our own terms with whatever means necessary. But there's a time we  became too fragile n need spiritual support to lift us on top n not weaken us. Mother as ordinary person as everyone else and I am still very young at age, so that's allows me to sucks at what I do right now n...mother will be the last person to goes to sleep everynite and yet be the 1st to wake up every morning. (ok, in my case, my husband woke up earlier and stayed up late with me) Thus sleeping deprivation is part of "mums & dads " package n yes, full eight hours sleep could be just a myth to "us" moms...